Dr. Gleb Tsipursky – The Office Whisperer
Nirit Cohen – WorkFutures
Angela Howard – Culture Expert
Drew Jones – Design & Innovation
Jonathan Price – CRE & Flex Expert
Sometimes in a job interview, freelance pitch, or client call, everything seems to be going smoothly — until there’s a shift.
Maybe it’s a flicker of surprise in the interviewer’s eyes when they first see you. Maybe there’s a pause after you share something about your background. Or perhaps a question you anticipated never comes — because legally, it can’t.
Still, you feel it.
Even with your experience, portfolio, or qualifications, there’s a subtle shift in the dynamic. Something unspoken has entered the room. The elephant.
It might be your age — perceived as too young or too old.
Your story — an accent, a name, a career path that doesn’t align with expectations.
Or your identity — gender, parental status, or simply being different from what they expected.
You can sense the internal monologue:
Will she connect with a younger team?
Will he understand how we operate?
Will she be too overwhelmed with the kids?
These questions aren’t voiced. But they’re answered quietly, based on assumptions. And that’s what makes them so tricky.
If You Don’t Acknowledge the Elephant, Someone Else Will
We’ve entered a time when authenticity is more than accepted; it’s a competitive edge.
Gen Z, in particular, expects transparency and values consistency between what people say and how they act. According to research from Stanford, this demand for authenticity is shifting not just how we show up at work, but how we interview, collaborate, and communicate.
Hiding behind polished answers doesn’t inspire confidence anymore — genuine connection does.
Bias Isn’t Always Hidden
Many hiring reform efforts focus on tackling unconscious bias. As noted by Harvard Business School, strategies like training interviewers, diversifying panels, and better role definitions are key. But they often assume bias is unintended.
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Yet bias can be conscious. And whether conscious or not, it still shows up in subtle ways.
What if the person across from you is thinking something they know they can’t say aloud?
That’s where things get complicated. Because if they’re filling in the blanks for themselves, they may get it completely wrong.
Behavioral science has shown you don’t have to change someone’s beliefs to change their actions. Siri Chilazi, a senior researcher at Harvard Kennedy School’s Women and Public Policy Program and co-author of Make Work Fair, shared in a recent episode of The Future of Less Work:
“The much more productive thing to do instead would be actually to skip the training and instead focus on changing the process itself.”
Rather than asking people to overcome their biases, her approach focuses on creating systems that reduce the chances for bias to influence outcomes — like standardizing interview questions and comparing answers across candidates rather than individuals.
Those structural improvements matter. But until such systems are universal, individuals still need to navigate the invisible barriers in the room. That’s why, when you sense that unasked question hanging in the air, being ready to address it directly can be a game changer. Not because fixing the system is your job, but because it might be the only way to truly be seen.
That’s why I suggest something bold: name the elephant. Do it confidently, intentionally, not defensively.
Let’s say you suspect age is the concern. You’re in your 50s, interviewing at a fast-paced startup run by 30-somethings. You might say:
“Sometimes people see my background and question whether I can thrive in an environment like this. In reality, I’ve worked with early-stage teams and found my experience brings a sense of clarity when things move quickly.”
Or maybe you’re a mother of seven, interviewing for a demanding position and sense hesitation:
“You might wonder how someone with seven kids handles a high-responsibility role. It’s a valid question. Here’s how I’ve built systems that let me show up fully and lead with focus. In fact, my parenting has sharpened my ability to manage pressure and lead through uncertainty.”
Or perhaps a potential client was expecting someone local, until your accent or profile tells them otherwise:
“I’ve noticed people sometimes assume I’m local. Once we align on expectations and communication, geography stops being a barrier. Often, my outside perspective brings unexpected value.”
This isn’t about defending who you are but about taking control of your story. It’s about addressing the silent doubt on your terms.
Bias lives in the unspoken. Your words are what bring it into the open.
Yes, companies and hiring managers have a responsibility to make their processes fairer. But when you’re in the room — interviewing, presenting, pitching — your power is in your voice. You can name what others won’t.
Not everyone will be comfortable doing this. It takes emotional intelligence, presence, and a kind of quiet boldness. But staying polite and silent won’t move the needle. And the risk of being ruled out for something unspoken, and untrue, is far greater.
So next time the elephant appears, don’t ignore it. Acknowledge it. Answer the question they didn’t ask, in a way only you can.
Because in doing so, you don’t just shift the trajectory of the conversation — you start to shift the culture of the workplace itself.
