My divorce broke me. But I was determined not to let it break my career.
At least, that’s what I told myself.
For years, I subscribed to the old workplace mindset of leaving your personal life at the door. Being “professional” felt especially critical as a woman of color in STEM. But when my marriage ended, I quickly realized that heartbreak doesn’t wait politely outside the office when you clock in. It follows you into every part of your workday, sitting beside you in meetings, clouding your ability to think quickly, and draining the energy you rely on to lead effectively.
Heartbreak reshapes how you show up, both as a human being and as an employee.
Even knowing this, I wanted to believe I could power through. But after just one day back in the office, I knew there was no way I could hold it together.
So, with intense trepidation, I walked into my manager’s office shortly after my ex-husband and I decided to move forward with the divorce. Tears welled in my eyes as I explained what was happening and admitted something that felt almost taboo to say out loud: I needed time away from work because I could not be my most productive self for my team, let alone the company.
As I spoke the words, part of me braced for the skepticism I was certain would follow.
Instead, my manager met me with deep compassion. He expressed genuine concern and told me to take the time I needed. The relief I felt in that moment is difficult to put into words. I didn’t just feel accommodated. I felt seen, valued, and even protected. My work mattered, but more importantly, I mattered.
Unfortunately, that kind of response is not guaranteed.
The Myth of Business as Usual
According to Zety’s Heartbreak Leave Report, one in three workers has called out sick or used PTO to recover from heartbreak. Yet many suffer silently rather than revealing the real reason behind their time away, often because of the stigma of being perceived as “too emotional” at work.
In fact, 65% of employees say they would feel uncomfortable requesting heartbreak leave because they fear judgment or negative consequences.
This reveals a workplace norm that is ready for serious disruption.
While conversations around mental health, wellness, and authenticity have expanded in recent years, the expectation to separate personal hardships from professional performance persists. Organizations must ask themselves whether they have truly evolved beyond the buttoned-up ideals of the Mad Men era and stepped into the realities of today’s workforce.
More importantly, are they willing to? The answer should be a resounding yes.
Heartbreak is not just an emotional experience, it has real workplace consequences. The same Zety report found that 43% of workers say their productivity suffers during heartbreak, while 38% report lower motivation and engagement.
When employees are struggling internally, expecting business as usual is simply not realistic.
This is why the conversation shouldn’t stop at whether companies offer heartbreak leave. The deeper question is whether organizations are willing to recognize employees as whole humans rather than productivity machines who clock in at 9 a.m. and out at 5 p.m.
Corporate America can no longer afford to ignore this truth. What happens outside of work inevitably shapes what happens within it.
The Future of Work Requires Emotional Honesty
Loss, separation, grief, caregiving responsibilities, and health challenges are part of real life. Forward-thinking organizations don’t merely recognize this reality; they empathize with their employees’ experiences.
They understand that providing support during difficult moments is a strategic investment in well-being, one that strengthens engagement, retention, and long-term performance.
When organizations openly acknowledge why employees may need time away, they normalize healthy behavior and send a powerful message: rest and recovery are acceptable and supported. In turn, companies reinforce that taking time to breathe does not diminish an employee’s value.
After my leave, I returned to work clearer, steadier, and far more capable of leading effectively than I would have been had I tried to tough it out. When my manager told me to take the time I needed, it didn’t just help me heal. It made me a stronger leader.
Employees should not have to disguise heartbreak or hide emotional pain just because they walk through the office door or log into a Zoom meeting. The future of work demands a more human-centered approach, one that recognizes supporting people through life’s hardest moments is essential to performance.
