Dr. Gleb Tsipursky – The Office Whisperer
Nirit Cohen – WorkFutures
Angela Howard – Culture Expert
Drew Jones – Design & Innovation
Jonathan Price – CRE & Flex Expert
- Small talk at work can be challenging, especially during return-to-office transitions.
- Experts suggest using the FORD method for safe conversation topics.
- For less personal conversations, the HEFE method works better and helps avoid awkwardness or oversharing.
We’ve all been there, scraping together pleasantries around the watercooler. While sometimes conversation flows with ease, other times you might find yourself playing proverbial wall ball by asking a helpless co-worker “what did you get up to this weekend” back and forth for eternity.
But there’s no need to truly fear your inability to connect with others, an acronym is here: Known as the FORD method, some experts suggest sticking to four topics — family, occupation, recreation, and dreams — to feel less strung out by small talk.
Breaking it down, FORD represents surface-level but pleasant conversation. Or in other words, it’s “the big four topics of small talk,” ZipRecruiter Career Expert Sam DeMase tells Fortune. From there, one can ask follow-up questions about each topic.
FORD comes into use during RTO
As return-to-office mandates continue to be churned out by CEOs, some co-workers are perhaps meeting in-person for the first time. Understandably, employees might be a little rusty when it comes to brushing up on the art of small talk — especially amidst a more distanced and isolated society in the shadow of the pandemic.
“Small talk can be really, really hard, especially if you’re perhaps, working virtually, and then perhaps first meeting with people you don’t know,” Octavia Goredema, career coach, and author of Prep, Push, Pivot tells Fortune.
While small talk might seem, well small, it’s an impactful skill to have.
Emphasizing the importance of small talk in self-development, DeMase says it can help an employee grow relationships with coworkers that can help them at their current or next job. It’s also important in the long run as workers’ conversational skills will likely be important in their following jobs as well.
Goredema advises people to follow two simple steps when trying to strike up an easy conversation at work: Use an open-ended and general question and then be an active listener.
She recommends having some questions in your back pocket that have worked in the past. General conversation-starters she suggests include: What’s been a highlight of your week so far, or what are you looking forward to?
The downsides to FORD, and a new social acronym to lean on
Of course, forcing a conversation into a FORD template has the potential to backfire or at least sound a little robotic.
“In 2025, it’s a little bit too personal,” DeMase says of FORD, adding that it could immediately “potentially cross someone’s boundaries.”
Adding that talking about family and dreams can be “risky,” DeMase explains that she wouldn’t necessarily suggest broaching those topics unless you’re already close to your co-workers.
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“It’s not always, perhaps the safest ground to ask questions about family or anything that might be personal, even if it’s with the best of intentions,” says Goredema, as well, suggesting instead asking questions based around the shared work.
“When in the workplace, we kind of want to play it a little bit safe, and that’s where I think the HEFE method can serve you a little bit better,” says DeMase, explaining that HEFE stands for hobbies, entertainment, food, and environment.
These casual topics can flow better and create more of a lighthearted conversation, per DeMase, who suggests asking questions like what they’re watching right now, where they’re going for lunch, or more observational comments like “the office is super crowded today.”
Conversations that fall into HEFE have gained traction in the workplace in recent years.
“The pandemic definitely ushered in, talking more about entertainment and less about what’s personal,” says DeMase, explaining that it was hard to speak of things that were so heavy and challenging during that period.
The workplace landscape certainly shifted after COVID-19 first hit, rounds of RTO mandates were subsequently ushered in, and younger generations aged into managerial roles. Everything from the role of work friends and the taboo behind talking about salary was put into question.
It’s only natural in the quest to redefine work that the nature of small talk would also shift.
“We’re in the process of figuring out what social interactions at work look like again,” DeMase says of this social circle at work, noting that friendships aren’t the same as they once were, as people are more socially awkward and introverted these days and many still work remotely.
Amidst socio-economic turmoil outside of work, the growing pains at work become all the more pronounced.
“We’ve gone kind of quiet,” DeMase adds, “We’re trying to now figure out, what can I say, without A. me unraveling or B. potentially offending someone.”
It’s all really about “using your emotional intelligence,” to gauge the circumstance you’re in and what is appropriate to talk about, explains Goredema.
The FORD or HEFE method might be more needed now, especially as people navigate shifting norms. Though as millennials and Gen Zers age into more powerful positions in the workplace, perhaps a more casual or at least tonally different form of conversation will rise to the top.
That being said, these acronyms will likely stay a liferaft for those who feel uncomfortable with their ability to work a room or connect with others.
“I think HEFE is always going to be helpful for those who struggle with the idea of small talk in general,” noting while elements of FORD feel outdated, HEFE can be helpful for the introverts.
Written by Chloe Berger for Fortune as “To avoid embarrassing yourself by oversharing with coworkers, stick to FORD conversations, experts suggest” and republished with permission.
