When you’re in the workplace, would you rather be a boss or a friend?
It’s normal, even, for long-lasting friendships to be formed in the office space or on the shop floor, and these bonds can build a happy, supportive work environment.Â
But when you’re in charge of a team, it’s a little trickier to know where the work boundaries between being a coach and being a friend lie. In particular, how do you support staff without crossing any lines?
To help you, we’ve put together some advice that’ll ensure you can provide support without compromising your workplace dynamic and avoid crossing work boundaries.Â
Know When to Approach and When Not To
Sometimes, a team member might come to you and ask for help. Other times, it’s harder to know when they’re looking for support, and as their boss, you mustn’t force the issue. But this isn’t always easy.
If, for example, someone asks for time off due to a bereavement, it can be tricky to know how involved you should be. It’s a similar situation if you’re seeing signs that someone is struggling, such as if they’re getting more stressed at work than normal, but they haven’t asked for your help.
In these cases, it’s smart to pull them aside for a private conversation. Let them know they’re not in any trouble but that you’ve noticed they might be struggling or you’ve heard that they’re going through a difficult time.Â
Make sure they know you’re there if they need anything and that there are workplace resources and processes that might help. Avoid giving any unwarranted advice or assuming they need your support.
By doing this, you show empathy without getting instantly involved. They can now dictate whether or not they’d like workplace support.Â
Direct Your Team Member to Supportive Resources
Regardless of your position in the company, you’re going to want to help when a team member is having a tough time.Â
One of the best ways you can do this without getting too involved and potentially crossing work boundaries is by finding them helpful, supportive resources. You can be there for them but leave the real advice-giving to the professionals.
If an employee is dealing with grief, you might ask if they’d like links to workplace-approved therapists, centres tailored to support those experiencing grief or loss or to share information from reputable organisations like HelpGuide.
By doing this, you’re showing your team member that you’re invested in their problems and want to help, but without the risk of being too personal or offering unwarranted advice.
Set Up Scheduled Meetings
Just because you’re setting boundaries doesn’t mean you can’t be a supportive figure in the workplace. One way to maintain professionalism while providing help is by scheduling one-to-one meetings.
In each team member’s calendar, add a regular meeting with yourself (once a month or bi-monthly, for example) specifically to discuss how they’re doing professionally but with a focus on mental health.Â
Give these meetings a name, such as 1-1 Monthly Meeting, to solidify the formality of the conversation.Â
You could also have a set agenda to keep the conversation on track. For example, you might discuss:
- Additional requirements to make their work environment more comfortable
- Whether their workload is at a manageable level
- Any complaints they have or suggestions they’d like to make
- Any upcoming time off they’d like to request to relieve stress
Set Your Own Boundaries
You’re perfectly in your right to set boss-employee boundaries from the get-go. Let your team know that you want to create a supportive work environment and that you’re always willing to help them with their problems but that there are limits.
You might not, for example, have an open-door policy. Let your team know that if they want to speak with you they still have to find a good time (unless it’s urgent), which could potentially mean booking a meeting to chat.Â
It might be, too, that you’re happy to talk about personal matters outside of work hours and over a coffee, but that in the workspace you need to maintain a professional relationship.Â
Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t want to support your team. It simply means that you’re balancing your role as someone who manages staff and being a friend, and clear boundaries help everybody know where they stand.
Final Words
Coach or friend? It’s a tricky line to walk when you’re managing a team, but there is a balance to be found so that you can be both supportive and professional. Hopefully, these tips will help you find that balance and become a boss that you can be proud of.

Dr. Gleb Tsipursky – The Office Whisperer
Nirit Cohen – WorkFutures
Angela Howard – Culture Expert
Drew Jones – Design & Innovation
Jonathan Price – CRE & Flex Expert












